nearly drowned in a pool

are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!
i haven't even been home for at least 5 minutes and my mom starts to bitch at me for not knowing how to swim.

so here's the damn full story: today was my friend's bday/pool party. i had an awesome day w/ my friends swimming, playing taboo, & watching kung fu panda. everything was great. but by the time i come home & put away all my crap, my mom asks me how was my day. i tell her what i just told you & say 'but the swimming was terrible.' because i can't really swim. then she starts bitching at me for not knowing how to swim & that i should have learned how to swim in our 1st house that we had when i was 5 years old. i yell back, 'how could have i learned to swim when you & dad don't even know how to swim!' then she starts yelling at me that i should watch where i spit. hello, it was an accident, no need to get all dramatic, & besides, it was a tiny spit that people tend to do, not a big fucking deal. then i tell her 'you weren't capable of teaching me how to swim & you have never signed me up for swimming lessons.'

so is it really my fault that i can't swim, no. and fine, technically it's not her fault either. but she doesn't have to accuse me of something so pointless & stupid when i haven't seen her for most of the day. and the fact that she even blames me is unbelievable. so i can't swim, it's not the end of the world! and frankly, why does she care anyway, half the time she hates me & wishes she never had me. she doesn't have to say it, but you can see it in her face. bitch!

thanks a lot, mother, for ruining my wonderful day. i hope i can return the favor to you soon. oh wait, i already did: you gave birth to me.